Another day has passed..

Geesh, I hope no one reads my blog, because it isn't suppose to "go to public".

Another terrible day.

Don't ask why.

I know I whine a lot.

But that's just the way I behave when I am stressed up.

Forgive me God, for not trusting you completely. Forgive me for being weak.

Why can't I heal after so long? Why am I hurting? Why am I becoming worse?

I hate to count cars.

I need to stop counting the cars.

I wish I could go away to somewhere far, somewhere I would not bump into close friends.

I wish to see the hills, the meadows.

I want to visit koko in USA. I want to experience different things.

I really need a break.

I need to find new inspiration to motivate me, to progress further.

I need to, even if I am not ready yet.

It's time to move on, Joanne. Please take yourself out from sadness. What's the point of making yourself looking like a dumb ass?

Get out.

Forget.

Let it go.

Late At Night

Wow, it has been ages since i last maintain my blog.

It's almost 5am in the morning, and I am still not sleeping. Roommate is chatting with a US friend I believe, not too sure about it. Anyway, while waiting for her, I am gonna write up something here.

It's night time.

And it's the time whereby thoughts and memories come to me without a sign or warning.

I can't help wandering off...deep in thoughts. Memories of the past kept haunting me, sweetly haunting me. Sometimes, I really hope I can live in the past, everything which had happened was just a dream. But is that even possible? I doubt it.

To be honest to myself, I still love him so much. I could not wave off this strong feeling. Can I keep my promise 2 months later? Will I be brave enough to let go of my hands and give him full freedom? Is it ever possible?

My heart aches everytime when he is near me. I wanted to hold him close to me, but I cant. I keep telling myself that I can get through these all alone, I am tough, I am strong, and I have grown up. But I guess I am just consoling myself. Sweet lies. *sigh*

A song for myself, when I am feeling down :

Why does the sun go on shining
Why does the sea rush to shore
Don't they know, it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I woke up in the morning and I wonder
why everything is the same as it was
I cant understand, no I cant understand
How life goes on the way it does

Why does the bird go on singing
Why do the stars shine above
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when you say Goodbye................

Geesh, I feel so down at the moment. How I wish I can get a hug from him. But It's not possible. Never possible anymore.

Life moves on I guess.

It sure does move on.